Duck and cover: the kids issue

RSVPs are rolling in, and for some reason, last week I thought it would be a lot of fun to start playing around with a seating chart.

Fun. Ha. What on earth was I thinking?

Image from TopTablePlanner.com

The primary thing I'm worried about with the seating chart at the moment is the issue of kids. Months and months ago, Econo Boy and I decided to limit the guest list to ages 12 and over. Econo Boy's parents love kids, but in their social circle, no one invites children to weddings -- weddings are Adult Events, end of story. Upon hearing their reasoning, my dad, who has less than zero tolerance for the misbehavior of toddlers, jumped on the adults-only bandwagon so fast my head spun. (I have no idea how he survived our Terrible Twos.) So, with the major financial contributors strongly backing this option, no-kids-under-12 it was.

So far, no one has objected or been upset at having their young children left off the guest list -- at least, not that I know.

But now I'm looking at a version of a seating chart that has a couple with 2 young children who won't be there (ages 1 and 4) at a table with 2 older children who were invited (ages 12 and 14). Suddenly I'm worried the couple whose children aren't there will be upset that other children were invited, even with the obvious 10-year age difference. I'm also worried that people will get their noses out of joint when they see that some close friends of ours are bringing their 2-month-old baby. (But good grief, the kid is nursing and eats every 2 hours, and they're flying out for our wedding. Asking them to come sans baby would be insane.)

This is one area where I fear that the wedding blogosphere has overloaded me with information and opinions. I would never have fretted about this kind of stuff had I not read so many scary comments about people's reactions to kids/no kids.

And frankly, I'm still a little baffled at the strong feelings people have about bringing their kids to weddings -- some parents seem to feel entitled to bring their uninvited little ones because "weddings are about FAMILY and children are part of FAMILIES and if you don't invite FAMILIES your wedding is a SHAM and you are an awful bridezilla." Really? The marriage is fake and the couple (mostly the bride) is evil because they thought a late-night party with an open bar wasn't a great place for kids? Aren't we overstating things a tad? And when did the concept of "FAMILY" become a club you use to beat your loved ones into submission?

I can't help wondering if this is one of those areas where a vocal minority on the internet makes a particular problem or opinion seem much more common than it really is. What do you guys think? Is the kids/no kids battle overblown? Or are you finding yourself facing it at your weddings?