Sale alert!

Attention shoe lovers! Shoes.com is having a 15% off sale! Enter code spring15 to get 15% off your purchase.

In related news, I just ordered the Coloriffics Grace sandal.

Image from Shoes.com

I decided I needed to look into wedges since the ceremony is outdoors, and this is one of the few pairs that didn't have a cork heel. The sale knocked them down to under $50, and with free shipping and free returns I figured it's worth a try to see if I like them! I'm a bit worried about the ankle strap, since I have fat ankles (and no, that's not my imagination -- the last time I was a bridesmaid I had to cut off my circulation to buckle the ankle strap on the adorable-but-painful shoes we picked out), but worst-case scenario, I drop them at the UPS store on my way to the library next week.

To DOC or not to DOC?

Early on in the wedding planning, I came to a disturbing realization: almost everyone assumes the bride is in charge. Even if your fiance is organized and efficient and happy to talk to vendors, it is darn near impossible to get a caterer or venue coordinator to call the groom, no matter whose number you put down as "primary contact." Our moms are slightly more effective buffers (apparently mothers of the bride and groom are also permitted to have knowledge of wedding-related events), but from where I'm sitting, just about everything seems to be the bride's job.

And right now I'm frakking sick of it. (Yes, that was a Battlestar Galactica swear word. Yes, I'm a geek.)

Yesterday while fielding half a dozen questions about the wine order, while simultaneously trying to re-order my veil and figure out what's going on with the invitations and organize a conference that it is totally not my turn to organize (long story), oh yeah, and write a thesis chapter, it occurred to me that I don't want the wedding day to be like this. If the cake is 15 minutes late or the rental place didn't bring enough silverware or the bathroom runs out of toilet paper, I don't want to know about it. And frankly, I don't want my mom to know about it either, or Econo Boy's mom, or Econo Boy (not that anyone would ask him what they should do, he's just the groom, grrr). And I certainly don't want to be the one on the cell phone trying to figure out what's going on and how to fix it.

I think I may need a DOC.

Image from www.weddingapproved.com

A DOC is a day-of coordinator -- someone responsible for making sure things run smoothly, for setting up the pretty menu cards I designed, for calling the rental place and telling them to bring us the rest of our forks, for running out to the store if the venue runs out of toilet paper.* Our caterer is great, and can handle most of the setup and take-down, but I'm starting to think it would be really nice to have someone else there who is the point person for all problems and will make sure some of the details fall into place.

I'd also love some help from a pro with figuring out the ceremony. Since our ceremony is at the venue, I don't have a sweet church lady helping me figure out who comes from where, and the venue employees are not much help (the contract explicitly states that the venue employees are there to make sure we abide by the mansion's rules, and are not responsible for helping us with anything at all).

The downside: it's another expense. We can afford it, but I feel guilty adding yet another line to our budget. Also, at 3 months out, it may be difficult to find a good coordinator who isn't super-expensive.

Plus, is it really necessary? Econo Boy thinks we can ask family to handle a lot of the stuff I'm worried about, but I am not particularly comfortable with asking aunts, uncles or grandparents to arrive early and make sure all of the table numbers are in the right place. They're our guests, not free labor.

What do you guys think? For those who are married, is a DOC worth the expense? If you didn't have one, how did you handle things?

* The toilet paper thing? Based on a true story. According to my friend who was a bridesmaid at this wedding, the mother of the bride ended up leaving the reception and driving 30 minutes to the nearest grocery store to replenish the supply. You can't make this stuff up.

Wine Wednesday: It's ... done?

Whoa. We ordered our wines.

To be perfectly honest, I had no intention of ordering any wine until at most 6 weeks before the wedding. But a major sale at a Denver-area liquor store prompted us to action. Econo Boy's wonderful mother played a huge role in this: she alerted us to the sale, called the store to verify that some of our top picks were being discounted, and moreover is going to pick up the cases for us and store them in a nice, cool basement room with a consistent temperature.

3 of our picks are ones I've blogged about before: the Nobilo Sauvignon Blanc, the Gimenez Riili Torrontes, and the Casillero del Diablo Cabernet. What else is on our wine list? The Domaine des Rozets Coteaux du Tricastin.

Yes, this was seriously the only picture I could find. Image from cellartracker.com.

This charming French red is a blend of Grenache, Syrah and Cinsault. The family friend who threw us the wine-tasting party brought this as his recommendation, and it was love at first sip for me -- truly one of the best light reds I've ever had. It thought it tasted like dried cherries, sweet and a tad acidic, with a bit of spice and mineral sharpness on the finish to keep it from being flabby.

As much as I loved this wine, I wasn't sure if we'd be able to serve it at the wedding. Our friend got it at a rather obscure liquor store, and my online searching indicated that it could be tough to find. Imagine my delight when my future mother-in-law reported that her local store (the one running the sale) carried it!

Now I just hope we have some left over after the reception ...

Incidentally, I'm not going to stop blogging about wine just because we've picked our wedding wines. My love for wine goes way beyond wedding planning, and there are still many untried bottles in our closet and some great wines I've tried but haven't written about yet. So stay tuned, and keep posting suggestions for new ones to try -- I love having excuses to try new bottles!

Shirley Tan and Jay Mercado

After the crushing disappointment of Prop 8 in California this past November, I was very heartened to hear that same-sex marriage will soon be legal in two other states, Iowa and Vermont!

But as Sweet T points out in her blog entry for today, state-by-state victories will not confer federal marriage rights to same-sex couples, a fact that carries devastating personal consequences for some partners.

Currently, a California mother of two named Shirley Tan is fighting deportation back to the Philippines. Her partner, Jay Mercado, cannot sponsor her for permanent residence because they are a same-sex couple. Her lawyers have argued successfully to postpone her deportation date, but there is a very real possibility that Ms. Tan will be sent away from her two sons and her partner.

The legal issues here are largely a result of the Federal Defense of Marriage Act, which explicitly states that domestic partnerships and even actual same-sex marriages from states where they are legal are not valid relationships when it comes to sponsoring one's partner for permanent residency.

Right now, 95 Congressmen are co-sponsoring HR1024, the Uniting American Families Act, which will eliminate discrimination against same-sex couples in immigration cases, and 17 Senators are co-sponsoring the Senate equivalent, S424.

Click on those links -- they'll take you to more information about those bills, including a list of co-sponsors. If your congressional representative and Senators are not on the list of co-sponsors, contact them and urge them to support these measures to help families like Ms. Tan's. If you have your own blog and agree with what these bills are proposing, spread the word.

I'll close with Jay Mercando's moving words of commitment to Shirley Tan and their family. When asked what they would do if Shirley Tan is deported, she replied,

"We'll move, and we'll be together. We raised our family, and we won't let anyone tear us apart."

Uh ... oops

When I went to pick up my dress back in January, I decided to go ahead and order a veil. I knew exactly what I wanted -- a 2-tier fingertip veil with some sort of edge and minimal "poof." The saleslady showed me a 2-tier veil with a corded edge that I thought was the perfect length, and had the sheer, sleek look I wanted. We'll call that one Veil A.

She then suggested I look at a vermicelli edge veil -- she only had a 1-tiered sample (which we'll call Veil B), but I tried it on and decided I liked the delicate vermicelli edge with my gown. So I asked for Veil A with Veil B's edge, and thought I was all done.

Well, today the veil came in. I picked it up while racing between errands, then took it home, and with stars in my eyes, I perched it on my head ...

And people, let me tell you, that "minimal poof" thing totally did not happen. I have NEVER IN MY LIFE seen this much tulle!

This veil could double as a parachute if we decided to do a skydiving wedding. I could use this veil as my drag chute if I ever took up street racing. That umbrella that Mary Poppins uses to fly away into the atmosphere has NOTHING on my veil -- I'm pretty sure that if I stepped outside with this thing on a windy day it would transform into a parasail and I'd soar into the clouds.

This sassy bride is totally rocking the puffy veil. Me? Uh ... not so much. Image from manolobrides.com.

So now I'm not quite sure what to do. Looking at my receipt, it appears that the salon ordered "Veil B with 2 tiers" instead of "Veil A with Veil B's edge" like I thought, but I didn't notice that when I paid, which is 100% my fault. On the phone, the salon owner said she can't return the veil because it's not technically the "wrong veil" from the manufacturer's point of view, but did say she'd be willing to exchange my veil for one they have in stock. I'm going in tomorrow to see if there's one closer to what I wanted that I can swap it for. But if that doesn't work ... well, there may soon be a new posting on Craigslist. "For Sale: World's Poofiest Veil. Ivory. Never worn. Could possibly give the wearer the ability to fly!"

In defense of brunch

The new blog Help Me Pay For My Wedding has been the subject of some talk on wedding blogs and boards lately. In a nutshell, a newly engaged woman is asking people on the internet to donate money so she can throw her dream wedding in a fabulous venue. The discussion is going about how you'd expect, with some people thinking she's clever and others getting in a lather over how tacky, spoiled and entitled she is. When I first read about the site, I leaned more towards the latter, but quickly calmed down -- I'm not really tempted to throw any of my own money her way, but if she wants to see how much money she can get from strangers just by asking it's an interesting social experiment.

But when I visited her blog, what did make me mad was her explanation of why she couldn't possibly do anything other than a Saturday night wedding:

One option to reduce the cost was a suggestion the salesperson at dream location offered - get married on a Sunday morning and serve brunch. Somehow, the stunning wedding I’ve imagined does not include toast and scrambled eggs. Ugh.

Gaaah! The horror! The nerve! She insulted brunch!!

Image from The Broadmoor Hotel in Colorado Springs,
www.broadmoor.com.

Brunch is a quasi-religious experience for me, and not one I equate with toast and scrambled eggs. Back in Colorado, on Easter, Mother's Day, and other random Sundays, my family used to join my uncle's family for brunch at their country club. We would put on our Sunday best, drive down after church, meet up with some of my favorite people in the whole world, and enjoy a delicious buffet containing some or all of the following:

• Homemade pastries
• Prime rib sliced to order
• Omelets made in front of your eyes from whatever you wanted
• Belgian waffles
• Stuffed French toast
• Mimosas
• Fresh fruit
• Shrimp cocktail
• Lox
• Blintzes and crepes
  

It was a special family experience, as well as a delicious meal, and I think it was every bit as yummy and elegant as anything we're planning for our Saturday dinner wedding. As I wrote a while back, I would have *loved* to serve brunch at our reception, but was soundly rejected by a horrified Econo Boy, who insisted that we couldn't serve brunch to people who had made a special trip out to Colorado for our wedding.

So I guess my question is, what's the problem with brunch? Why do so many people (including Econo Boy) seem to consider brunch not good enough to serve to people who have traveled to attend your wedding? I've always considered brunch luxurious, even decadent, and definitely worth a special trip. But are my childhood memories blinding me to the fact that brunch just isn't as "classy" as dinner? Or am I right -- brunch rules and should totally be served at more wedding receptions? Inquiring minds want to know!

Wine Wednesday: Mixed Drinks

My mixed drinks IQ is pretty small. Growing up my parents never had hard alcohol in the house unless someone gave us a bottle as a gift, and those would sit gathering dust for years. When I hit college I discovered that I liked vodka with cranberry juice ... and almost nothing else when it came to hard alcohol. (OK, margarita on the rocks, but only with an enchilada platter.)

Long-stemmed martini glasses are the ultimate in cool, IMHO. If only I liked martinis ....
Image from myrecipes.com

Originally we weren't planning to serve any hard alcohol at the wedding, but the caterer we chose provides us with a bar package that includes tons of mixers and all of the necessary glassware: highballs, doubles, and even martini glasses if we want them. So we decided we'd like to buy a couple of bottles of alcohol for simple mixed drinks -- think gin & tonic, rum & coke, vodka & whatever. (To keep it simple, we're steering clear of mixed drinks that require multiple types of alcohol, like White Russians, Cosmopolitans, and Lemon Drop Martinis, or that need slightly exotic ingredients, like the Mojito, which needs fresh mint.)

The question is, which drinks should we pick? How many should we serve -- 1, 2, 3? And are there any obvious options I'm missing?