Friday, August 14, 2009

Everyone's got an opinion!

We're waiting a bit longer for photos -- the DVD with our images is on its way! And wow, are the ones I've seen amazing.

Just about everyone's got an opinion on wedding planning. Before the wedding, it's hard enough to brush off the people who insist that you HAVE to do things a certain way, or who passive-aggressively comment about how gee, they wish they had the guts to be so "unorthodox," or gosh, "you're really going for the whole white-dress thing, aren't you?" But negativity can be even more upsetting after the wedding -- it can color your memory of the event, make you wonder if your loved ones actually had a good time.

Shortly after the wedding, Econo Boy and I had dinner with my father and his girlfriend. I've tried really hard to be friendly with The Girlfriend, but it's difficult for reasons I mentioned in this post, and to be honest, her general personality makes it harder. She's a bit of a drama queen, loves to complain, and puts a lot of emphasis on physical appearance. (Once she praised me for being "light and slight and a sensible eater, just like me!" We were at a restaurant. Three minutes later I ordered a giant calzone stuffed with mascarpone cheese and prosciutto and ate the whole thing, even though my stomach hurt afterwards. How's that for maturity on my part?)

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when TG told us "it was a lovely wedding" and then proceeded to tell us everything that was wrong with it. It was an awfully big wedding -- do you know, she'd always thought small weddings were the most likely to lead to happy marriages. Also, she couldn't hear the string quartet, and her food was cold. And the slice of cake she'd been given was "itty-bitty."

I jokingly asked why she hadn't just cut herself a piece from the cake at the cake table -- her table was right next to it, after all. She blinked, surprised. "I assumed it was a display cake! You know, styrofoam. Everyone does that nowadays."

She thought our cake was styrofoam. For the love of peanut butter and crackers.

Don't get me wrong, I still think we had an awesome wedding, but her comments stung a bit, and briefly (but only briefly!) made me wonder if the celebration I thought was awesome had, in fact, sucked for everyone who wasn't us. Has anyone else dealt with post-wedding sniping? How do you let it slide off your back?


LPC said...

She sounds like the kind of person who hates everything. Probably her discontent is an inverse metric for how everyone else felt.

Laura said...

Ignore people who make comments. As my dad used to say: "if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all". Some people could serve to learn a thing or two about that statement.

A good time consists of more than the prefect piece of cake and warm food....and really I highly doubt most people even had those complications. Sounds like a classic complainer!

Abbie said...

It was perfect for you... but it is hard to ignore the comments. My friends that "helped" (or didn't) made comments about how crappy some of my vendors were, while I was trying to ignore how crappy they were. I told myself that I need to remember it as the amazing day it was because of us... not the day it was in everyone else's eyes.

One Barefoot Bride said...

What is the world coming to, when people assume that a wedding cake is fake? This is awful! I've never been to a wedding with a fake cake, but I'd be soooo disappointed if I ever encountered one...

Someone who complains about a special occasion they've been invited to share is just rude. Too bad that she couldn't appreciate all that was glorious about the day!

accordionsandlace said...

Oh how I feel this. Everyone was all posi the day after our wedding--even my cantankerous parents. I thought it was a miracle. I was wrong. Last night we returned from our honeymoon and my parents gave us a lift home and my father proceeded to list a series of complaints about the wedding. They are, indeed, really hard to hear, and it makes me really angry because it's just so unnecessarily negative and unproductive. It's done. Yes, the selection at the sweet table was disappointing. But it's over. Why do we need to hash that out? Why is that important? I am feeling really intolerant of this stuff right now.

Bride in Exile said...

A., I'm sending you a big mental hug right now! The truth is, you can't please everyone. Like Abbie said, we just have to remember the day for what it meant to us, and not try to guess at how it looked through the eyes of others.

LPC, major bonus points for using "inverse metric" in a blog comment! (I love a good math reference.)

Laura and OBB, unfortunately I think TG believes that being critical helps her prove how much smarter and classier she is than everyone around her. It's annoying but I need to remember not to take her seriously. As we drove away, Econo Boy commented that she actually has terrible taste, so we should be glad she had so many complaints!

apricot said...

as one of your guests I must say that your father's gf is entirely off--there was plenty of hot, delicious food, and there was just the perfect amount of cake to top off a long evening of yumminess.

Anyone who has to prove their awesomeness by putting down other people is hardly worth a second thought or glance.

anna and the ring said...

Hugs. Forget the bitchy comments however hard that may be.

So much easier to bitch than be nice.

Jessica said...

Wow! Some people are unbelievably out-of-line. Hard to understand how they survive adult life. Makes you really sick of the "bridezilla" crap in the media, too. Those of you dealing with relatives and guests like that and keeping your heads are amazing, inspirational women. Regarding the cake, you should have said you were thinking of her "light and slight" appetite!