Thursday, April 23, 2009

Random wedding dislikes

When planning a wedding, you are bound to run into at least a few trends and traditions that just make you want to scream and run away, often for reasons you can't quite identify. Here are 5 wedding things that make me go "ick." I have no real reason to dislike any of the things on this list (with the possible exception of #4) -- it's more a knee-jerk reaction. But I'm feeling a bit punchy today, so I might as well vent :-)

5. Wedding favors
The perfect storm of emotional blackmail and WIC salesmanship -- "but if you don't give favors, how will you thank your guests for coming?" I also hate that every time I see a picture of a table setting with those adorable little favor boxes, I flirt with the idea of giving out favors just because the boxes would look so cute on the tables! Clearly, I have a problem.

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4. People who obsess over what their family members are wearing to the wedding
If I run across one more bride on a message board throwing a fit over the color of her fiance's mother's dress, I will scream, and then possibly set the living room on fire. News flash: if you told your aunt to find a baby pink dress and she sent you photos of a coral dress, this is not a crisis. Not even close. And don't start wailing about how the pictures will be ruuuuuuuined if your family members aren't color-coordinated. No, they won't. I have tons of great group shots of friends and family that look fantastic despite the fact that no one told us what colors to wear. Some of us clash. So what? We look happy, we're all wearing outfits we like, and the pictures are great because they contain people I care about.

If your family members *ask* you what color they should wear, by all means, give them some ideas. But otherwise, stop mailing fabric swatches out to your aunts, uncles and cousins and let them dress themselves like grown-ups.

3. Pickup skirts
Heavy, poofy, princessy -- everything I wanted to avoid in a wedding dress.

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2. The Tiffany blue-and-brown color combo
I know it's cool, I know it's stylish, but for some reason I can't stand seeing these colors next to each other. I think it looks like a mistake, like someone dropped a Tiffany's box in the mud and decided to make the best of it. (In general, I'm not a big fan of brown, so maybe that's my problem.) And am I the only one who finds it a little scary that Tiffany's has achieved the level of brand awareness where they have a color named after their company?

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1. "The Bridal Chorus" by Wagner (a.k.a. "Here Comes the Bride")
Maybe it was that time I heard a "Bridal Chorus" ring tone on someone's cell phone in a NYC coffee shop. Maybe it was learning that in Wagner's opera Lohengrin, the source of the famous "Bridal Chorus," the bride betrays her husband and ends up dead. Maybe it was all that time I spent as a child singing "Here comes the bride, big, fat and wide," with my friends as we married the Barbie with no hair to that Ken doll whose head kept falling off. (Our Barbies lived rather Shakespearean lives -- everyone either ended up married or dead.)

But I hate this song. I mean, I HATE it. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me. I'd rather walk down the aisle to "Muskrat Love." (Kidding ... sort of.)

What are your random wedding dislikes? Do you love anything on my list and think I'm a nut? Let me know!


Color Me Green said...

i loved reading this! gotta agree with you on a lot of things in here. i'm also kinda ughh about the idea of a big wedding shower with female relatives because it doesn't sound like my idea of a good time.

Abbie said...

Okay... I'm kind of guilty of number 2. Actually, I just said no pink after my mom mentioned pink. Why? For my cousin's wedding, my grandmother wore a bright pink dress, and your eye immediately went to her in EVERY SINGLE PICTURE. It was a distraction. And, to this day, she constantly says she wished someone had told her to wear something else. Okay... I said it. Whew.

accordionsandlace said...

Oh MAN I agree with all of these! Even though we are doing favours (although awesome ones!) I even agree those are stupid! But especially #4. It conveys a complete lack of perspective. Over the top nuttiness!

Bride in Exile said...

Abbie, you just reminded me of a picture I have of my college friends at a semi-formal dinner. Everyone else is wearing either black or black and white -- except me. I'm in a pink and yellow dress. And I have to admit, I stick out like a sore thumb! Pink has a way of making a statement.

accordionsandlace (great username by the way!), the most over-the-top example of #4 I've encountered was a woman who wanted advice on how to tell her fiance's sister that she wasn't allowed to wear any of the wedding colors since she wasn't in the wedding party. Can you imagine that conversation? "You're not special enough to wear my wedding colors, so you'd better not show up in Tiffany blue or brown." Yikes.

Color Me Green, I can definitely see not getting into the shower thing -- they can be fun, or they can be mortifying, depending on who comes and what spirit it's thrown in.

Bridechka said...

I am with on so may of these!! Great post.

Annie said...

As for the favors part, I am guilty of loving the little boxes too. Especially after I saw some pics on that made me wish I could get married right then and there, just to start designing the centerpieces... Sadly, not there yet. Anyway, there's no reason why you can't do something simple and adorable AND get cute boxes for them, without spending a fortune on favors for everyone. Okay, I've said my piece :) PS. Totally agree on the no poofy dresses!

mandyrosy said...


Love the post! I just found your blog through Practical Wedding. I also love the "totally unique and SO US" post. Thanks for a little breath of reality here in super indie/DIY land!
Now, on to things I hate! I'm so with you hating the favors. Are we not inviting people to a big party and serving them drinks and food and then sending them thank-you cards? Why do they need a teeny-tiny package of mints or something? Is that really important? Also on Wagner. I HATE "Here Comes the Bride!" Every time I hear it, I fill in the words we sang as kids, "Here comes the bride – big, fat and wide!" That one is a no-compromise absolute NO!