Two confessions

My first confession: posting will be rather sporadic this month. Econo Boy and I are moving to a new city, and after 6 days of setting up house there, we'll fly to Denver to hang with our families and tie up the last few loose ends for our wedding! I've saved up a few posts that I've scheduled at regular intervals, but when those run out, all bets are off. We're excited, nervous, stressed out, hopeful, terrified, and all of those other emotions you tend to experience at times of major upheaval. Please send us good thoughts as we lug our boxes down to the moving van!

My second confession is a little more painful. I adore wedding recaps, especially if I've been following the blog for a while. I've been drooling over Sweet T's amazing wedding photos for the past few months -- it's so much fun to see how it all comes together at the end!

Which is why I feel a little bad about what I'm about to say: I won't be posting recaps. Or, if I do, they will be quite limited in scope.

I've always been somewhat touchy about my online privacy. I don't post photos of myself, except on Facebook (where I have my privacy settings set to "friends only") or if I've edited out my head. I don't use my real name in any of my online handles, and I've carefully avoided specifying our current location. Econo Boy is even worse; he doesn't even have a Facebook account because he thinks that's TMII (Too Much Internet Information). So the idea of posting a ton of pictures of us here, where anyone in the whole world could (theoretically) see them, runs against our rather private (some would say Luddite) nature.

At the same time, my online life, especially when it comes to wedding planning, has been kept almost entirely private from my friends and family. Exactly one person from my "real life" knows about this blog (hi, Apricot!). And I wouldn't feel comfortable posting photos of my loved ones when they don't even know that I have a blog.

So, no recaps from yours truly -- at least, not ones with photos of people. But I will tell all the stories, and share as many "detail" photos as I get! Blogging, and reading blogs by other amazing women, has definitely kept me sane over the past few months as I've grappled with wedding planning and impending wifehood. You guys are awesome!

Wedding love: Roger Federer and Mirka Vavrinec

Forget the Jonas Brothers or the Backstreet Boys. My longtime celebrity crush has been class-act tennis player Roger Federer. Watch the man hit a perfect winner in the corner of the court, while appearing to expend no more energy than most people do shooing away a fly. I dare you not to swoon.

Naturally, when I picked up the People Magazine (at the gym, I swear!) with his wedding photos in it, I was thrilled to see Roger and his new wife, Mirka Vavrinec, looking so gloriously happy.

Images from www.gotennisblog.com

Things I love here:
1. Mirka's gorgeous knee-length Oscar de la Renta gown and delicate, sexy mules.
2. Roger's shy but happy smile.
3. Mirka is pregnant and a) wears white and b) is absolutely glowing and stunning.
4. While magazines were permitted a limited photo op prior to the wedding, the ceremony and reception were limited to a guest list of their 40 nearest and dearest, no magazine photographers allowed.

Best wishes, Mirka and Roger!! And thanks for skewering that annoying "marriage curse" myth in tennis. (Roger won the French Open just weeks after marrying Mirka. Maybe you just have to find the right person to marry!)

Duck and cover: the kids issue

RSVPs are rolling in, and for some reason, last week I thought it would be a lot of fun to start playing around with a seating chart.

Fun. Ha. What on earth was I thinking?

Image from TopTablePlanner.com

The primary thing I'm worried about with the seating chart at the moment is the issue of kids. Months and months ago, Econo Boy and I decided to limit the guest list to ages 12 and over. Econo Boy's parents love kids, but in their social circle, no one invites children to weddings -- weddings are Adult Events, end of story. Upon hearing their reasoning, my dad, who has less than zero tolerance for the misbehavior of toddlers, jumped on the adults-only bandwagon so fast my head spun. (I have no idea how he survived our Terrible Twos.) So, with the major financial contributors strongly backing this option, no-kids-under-12 it was.

So far, no one has objected or been upset at having their young children left off the guest list -- at least, not that I know.

But now I'm looking at a version of a seating chart that has a couple with 2 young children who won't be there (ages 1 and 4) at a table with 2 older children who were invited (ages 12 and 14). Suddenly I'm worried the couple whose children aren't there will be upset that other children were invited, even with the obvious 10-year age difference. I'm also worried that people will get their noses out of joint when they see that some close friends of ours are bringing their 2-month-old baby. (But good grief, the kid is nursing and eats every 2 hours, and they're flying out for our wedding. Asking them to come sans baby would be insane.)

This is one area where I fear that the wedding blogosphere has overloaded me with information and opinions. I would never have fretted about this kind of stuff had I not read so many scary comments about people's reactions to kids/no kids.

And frankly, I'm still a little baffled at the strong feelings people have about bringing their kids to weddings -- some parents seem to feel entitled to bring their uninvited little ones because "weddings are about FAMILY and children are part of FAMILIES and if you don't invite FAMILIES your wedding is a SHAM and you are an awful bridezilla." Really? The marriage is fake and the couple (mostly the bride) is evil because they thought a late-night party with an open bar wasn't a great place for kids? Aren't we overstating things a tad? And when did the concept of "FAMILY" become a club you use to beat your loved ones into submission?

I can't help wondering if this is one of those areas where a vocal minority on the internet makes a particular problem or opinion seem much more common than it really is. What do you guys think? Is the kids/no kids battle overblown? Or are you finding yourself facing it at your weddings?

Wine Wednesday: Segura Viudas Brut Reserva Cava

About a month ago, I mentioned that Econo Boy and I ordered the Segura Viudas Brut Reserva Cava for our wedding, 100% untasted by us. It was on mega-sale, it had glowing critical reviews, and we've liked every Cava we've tried, so we figured what the heck, let's go for it.

Ever since then, I've been trying to track it down at area wine stores, with no luck -- until I stumbled on the website for a wine store about 15 minutes' drive away. They didn't have it in stock, but I put in an online order, they graciously ordered it for me, and last week I drove out to pick it up. After getting horribly lost, pulling over to ask for directions, and then finding the store more or less by accident, I was on my way home with my long-searched-for bottle of Segura Viudas!

Image from SeguraViudasUSA.com

And? Our gamble paid off. It's delicious. It's almost Prosecco-like in its clarity, but not quite so delicate -- it's definitely got presence. I missed some of the nuttiness I get with other Cavas, but the smooth finish and overall elegance of this wine is a winner. I think it's a perfect pick for a large party because it's well-made and complex, but still refreshing and approachable; it will appeal to a wide variety of palates. I wish I had another bottle right now! (Not all to myself, of course.)

Table settings, or: my continuing quest for the World's Worst Photographer award

Sometimes, no matter how old she gets, a girl just needs her mommy. At least, that's how I felt when I realized that I needed to pick out table settings for the wedding. I could have just gone with white everything and relied on the centerpieces to provide color, but my mom is kind of a genius at home decor. (She should have her own blog -- heck, her own magazine. Martha Stewart, look out!) So naturally I dragged my mom with me to the rental place to help me figure out what we were doing.

Here's a photo I brought along of a table setting on a dark blue tablecloth, with something close to our newly-selected flower colors:

Image from Brides.com.

At the rental showroom, my mom and I immediately pounced on their new navy blue organza overlays -- not quite as cool as the textured ones in the photo, but a) available and b) affordable. The rental folks were nice enough to set up a sample table for us so we could evaluate different looks. After some rearranging of plates, glassware, and trying several different napkins only to settle on the first one we tried (navy), my mom and I came up with this:


OK, the photo sucks, but this time I have an excuse: I took this on a cell phone camera, it being the only camera we had available at the time. Ignore the unfortunately-placed seam and the wrinkles from the folds. I think with the centerpieces, mirrors, and candles, it's going to look really cool!

DIY: Menu cards and wine lists!

I've admitted in the past that I am not the world's greatest DIYer. It's not that I don't want to be! In truth, I look with envy upon those who can whip up gorgeous handmade details for their homes and their loved ones. And in middle and high school, I used to sew -- nothing fancy, but I did make myself a sundress, and I also sewed an awesome 40s replica dress for our school's production of "The Diary of Anne Frank."

But when I started the wedding planning, I promised myself (and the ultra-patient Econo Boy) that I wouldn't attempt anything crazy, like planting and growing 30 wildflower centerpieces or hand-sewing the perfect tablecloths. The thing is, I'm a perfectionist, and I'm also not that artistic (and I kill plants -- not on purpose, but that's another story). Plus, my mom still has my sewing machine in her basement. I knew that if any potential wedding DIY projects turned out less than professional-looking, I would end up crawling under the bed and sobbing and not doing any dissertation work.

But if there's one thing every grad student knows how to do, gosh darn it, it's use Microsoft Word and an injket printer. Introducing: our menu cards.

As a food lover, I always enjoy the menu cards at other peoples' weddings so I can get a head start on drooling over the evening's fare. So I decided to order textured linen card stock samples from LCI Paper and give it a shot. And ... it turned out surprisingly well! We found the perfect wine cork menu card holder at CorkeyCreations on Etsy, and the combination of card stock + MS Word + inkjet turned out really nicely, for around $0.20 per card (not including ink).

Our menu cards! The two-columbines motif was designed by our invitations printer, whom I have chosen not to name here for obvious reasons.

This is more a mock-up than a final version. For one thing, I thought I was being really clever by putting the table number at the top and not having to use table number stands, but I'm starting to reconsider -- I'm not sure the numbers will be large or obvious enough. For another, we still haven't done our tasting, so the menu isn't final! The other side of the menu cards will be printed with our wine list (which I haven't shown here because they'll include the names of the people who recommended the wines to us). I'm also going to print drinks menus with our wine list and our beers and liquors on the bars.

Incidentally, CorkeyCreations is a great seller -- she sent me a free sample holder so I could verify that the place card holders we liked would be large enough to hold 5x7 menu cards. When I ordered a full set of 50, they were in the mail within 48 hours. Highly recommended!

Wine Wednesday: Zinfandels

Zinfandels are hit or miss for me. Some Zins subscribe to the "fruit bomb" theory of red wines -- think liquefied blackberry jam mixed with vodka. Some people love the fruit bombs, but they're not my thing. But drier, spicier Zinfandels are some of my favorite wines.

One of the best Zins I've ever had is the Cline Cellars Ancient Vines Zinfandel. It practically explodes on the tongue, with tons of fruit and spice, and goes down with a delightful peppery finish.


Note: don't confuse this Ancient Vines Zin with the Cline red-label standard Zinfandel. The latter is very fruit-bomb-y, with much less character and pop. Econo Boy loves the Cline red label, but I'm less of a fan. For a good comparison of the two Clines, see this post at CheapWineRatings.com. Unfortunately the Cline red label is much more widely distributed than the Ancient Vines, but if you're ever in Sonoma, Cline is absolutely worth a visit!

Thoughts on a wedding dress at fitting #2

I have a bit of a strange relationship with my wedding dress. I go back and forth from loving it to thinking I should have gotten something less formal/with ruching/with less lace/that wasn't white/that cost less. If I had it back to do again, I would probably look more seriously into having it custom-made, or go for something like this Jenny Yoo silk shantung bridesmaid's dress (in pale pink instead of purple):

The Jenny Yoo Sloane dress. Image from JennyYoo.com

Picking out the dress was probably one of the most emotionally fraught parts of wedding planning for me. I'm somewhat insecure about my appearance, and there's so much pressure on brides to find the PERFECT DRESS, the one that makes you feel like a princess and a sex goddess and a fashion model and most importantly a bride. Yikes. No dress can do all of that. But when I bought the dress, I was new-ish to wedding planning and still convinced, in my heart of hearts, that everything had to be PERFECT or it wasn't worth doing. (Ah, the joys of being a lifelong perfectionist.) And part of me felt like a little bit of a failure for going with a dress that I just really liked, instead of one that I loved and couldn't live without or whatever.

But last week, at my second fitting, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and you know what? I looked really good. Is my dress the "perfect dress"? Probably not. (Is there such a thing? Almost certainly not.) But I like it, it's flattering, and I bet Econo Boy will think I look beautiful. So I'm happy. And the fact that I needed only minimal alterations doesn't hurt!

Social awkwardness and the unexpected benefits of being in a couple

This morning, a random guy stopped me to ask for information about the bus schedule, and then awkwardly segued into asking me about where I lived, whether I was a grad student, what department I was in, etc. I think he may have been trying to flirt with me, but I’m not sure. (I wasn’t wearing my ring, by the way.) I’ve never been sure about that kind of stuff, even when it’s glaringly obvious to everyone else. I think I was just born sans the flirtation antenna that most normal people seem to have. Also, most grad students aren’t good at this sort of thing as a rule.

The incident made me reflect on the subtle ways day-to-day life has changed for me since I started dating Econo Boy, and especially since we got engaged.

Most people, at some point in their lives, will find themselves the object of unwanted attention from a member of the opposite sex whose interest they do not share. Most of the time this is pretty harmless, but on occasion, it can be crushingly uncomfortable. I think this is especially true if you’re a woman. If you make it clear you’re not interested, you’re a bitch, or you’re a narcissist who misinterpreted his perfectly “friendly” attention. If you don’t make it clear enough, you’re a tease, or you’re self-absorbed and too clueless to notice that he OBVIOUSLY likes you. (Does the fine line between “bitch” and “tease” exist in same-sex flirtation as well?)

All that by way of saying that while some people think monogamy is stifling or signals the death of one’s social life, I’ve found it incredibly liberating, especially when it comes to building new friendships with guys. When I go to a party, I don’t have to try and figure out whether the guy I’m talking to wants my phone number or just thought I looked friendly. I don’t have to carefully calibrate the level of interest I project in order to avoid sending the wrong signal. As soon as I say “my boyfriend” or “my fiancé,” it becomes clear that I’m not available, and the guy can either keep talking to me or move on. And if somehow Econo Boy doesn’t come up in the conversation, and I’m asked for my phone number or a date, I can just say “I’m sorry, but I have a serious boyfriend/I’m engaged.” Still awkward, but much less awkward than trying to find a kind way to say “you seem like a perfectly nice human being, but I am not at all attracted to you and I do not wish to date you.”

This is not to say that marriage/monogamy is right for everyone – I try to avoid being a Smug Married who’s convinced that everyone would be happier as part of a pair, since I know plenty of people who would much rather be single. And some people really dig the mysterious “is he into me?” feeling. But I’m fairly shy and I’ve always suffered from a bit of social anxiety (I used to feel faint in the car on my way to birthday parties as I wondered if I’d messed up the day or the time and if I’d make an idiot out of myself by ringing the doorbell in my party dress with a nicely-wrapped box), so eliminating at least one level of potential social misunderstanding and awkwardness gets a big thumbs up from me.

Does anyone else find that there are unexpected bonuses to being in a couple?

Ah, to be a serene bride

Shortly after we hired our DOC, I ran across a debate on a message board about the entire DOC concept. The brides fell into two camps on the issue.

Camp A: You spend SO MUCH TIME AND EFFORT on this ONE DAY and it should be PERFECT and why on earth would you leave the details to anyone but a PROFESSIONAL?

Camp B: Ugh, I don't need to pay someone else to organize for me. I'm laid back. I won't care if things go wrong. I'm marrying my best friend and that's all that matters.

I started to feel that sinking combination of guilt and shame. The Camp B brides appeared to have it all figured out, and I wanted so badly to be a Camp B woman. And yet, here I was, worrying about what would happen if I forgot a detail or this or that vendor flaked out on us. If I'm marrying Econo Boy, why should I care if the cake doesn't arrive or I forget to bring the table numbers? Am I a micromanager who can't see the forest for the trees? Do I even deserve to marry such a great guy if what I'm worried about is whether or not the menu cards get set up and the rental company delivers enough plates?

Reality check.
1) We are throwing a very large party. There will be lots of details. Some of those details -- like whether or not the menu cards make it to the tables -- won't be noticed by anyone if they fall through the cracks. Others -- like whether or not people have plates for their food -- will make a big difference in our guests' enjoyment of the day.
2) Econo Boy and I could have chosen not to throw a large party, and simply tied the knot at the courthouse. In fact, I thought about it pretty seriously. But we decided to do it this way because we wanted to be with our family and friends. It's OK to care about their comfort and enjoyment.
3) If someone doesn't do the job you paid them to do, it's OK to find that annoying and to want them to fix it. Yes, even if you're getting married that day. Getting married does not give businesspeople license to take advantage of you and then call you a "bridezilla" when you complain.
4) Weddings are stressful. Being worried or stressed out on occasion is not a moral failure or a sign that we're focused on the wrong aspects of the wedding. It's just par for the course.

Phew. I feel better. Anyone else find it easier to give yourself permission to be stressed on occasion than to guilt yourself into pretending you don't really care?

Lovely Blog Awards!

The wonderful Anna just named me a recipient of the Lovely Blog Award -- thank you, Anna! :-) In return, I must nominate 10 blogs that also deserve this award. So here are 10 blogs I think you should be reading ...

Accordions and Lace
A Glimpse of the Girl Next Door
A Peachy Wedding
A Practical Wedding
broken*saucer
Cats, Cheese, and a Wedding, Please!
Color Me Green
Doubly Happy Too
-Privilege

and of course, anna and the ring!

So ladies, take this icon, and nominate away! I can't wait to hear about your essential reading.

Wine Wednesday: Cono Sur Sauvigon Blanc

I never cease to be amazed by the character, complexity, and value of Chilean wines, and this week's pick is no exception. Introducing: Cono Sur Sauvignon Blanc.

Image from www.vineyardbrands.com

If you're looking for a light, citrusy wine, with vibrant hints of green apple and flinty mineral hints, something to make you grin and forget the heat and humidity, this is the wine for you. It would pair beautifully with Thai or Vietnamese food, anything with fresh peppers, lemongrass, or crunchy snow peas. I loved it so much that I finished 3/4 of a bottle before Econo Boy noticed I was hogging the wine! Best of all, Cono Sur is an eco-friendly producer, and this wine costs less than $10.

If you see any Cono Sur wines on your local shelves, I'd suggest snapping them up. While the Sauvignon Blanc is the only one I've tried, I've heard fantastic things about their wines all around, and I think this is a bargain label to look for in coming years! I'm particularly excited about trying one of their Pinot Noirs, which is evidently their specialty. I've been warming to Pinot Noir in recent months, and they're Econo Boy's favorite, so I'll let you know what we think!

Bullet dodged

Whoa. I logged onto Etsy yesterday to find a solution for my musty-smelling dresser drawers (mini lavender sachets!), and out of curiosity I decided to check out my invitation designer's store.

Her feedback rating is now at 68%. Recent feedback includes 2 negative reports from buyers who never received their wedding invitations.

Is it weird that this makes me feel better, in a way? Obviously I feel terrible for the couples who never got their orders -- Econo Boy and I were pretty stressed out when we thought we'd have to rush-print our own. But now I don't feel like such an unreasonable psycho for being on her case 24/7 towards the end. If I hadn't, she might not have finished my project. I hate being mean, especially to someone who seems like a basically nice person, but in this case, I don't think I had an alternative.

Well, enough about that. Coming up soon: my one and only DIY project!

Wedding day timeline, or, how to keep the number of photos reasonable?

My favorite wedding vendor so far is probably our photographer David, a charming British man who's been in the business 20 years, shoots gorgeous photojournalistic photos, and never fails to respond to my calls or e-mails within 24 hours. And yet, the photos are something I'm kind of dreading on the wedding day. Why? Keep reading.

I have no doubt that our photographer will be able to capture the wonderful spontaneous moments of our wedding. But I'm nervous about the formal posed photos. I've definitely been to weddings where the wedding party and families had to stick around for every. conceivable. combination of family photographs. "OK, let's have all the cousins! Now just the cousins on the mom's side! Now just the cousins on the dad's side! Now, only the cousins above the age of 18 with names that start with Q!" You get the picture (pun intended).

Not our style. I hate standing still and smiling in portraits, and if it were 100% up to me we might not do any. But I know that shots like the one below mean a lot to our families (especially to my grandparents, who won't be able to make it to the wedding for health reasons).

OK, I admit it -- this is a great photo, and everyone looks so happy! Image from www.f8studio.com.

So I do want to make time for some formal photos, while still being ruthlessly efficient about limiting the number of shots. Bride's immediate family, bride's extended family, groom's immediate family, groom's extended family, done. Right?

Wrong. I can already feel some issues coming up. For starters, while I'd love to have a photo with both of my parents, they kind of hate each other and would probably prefer to frame photos of just themselves with me, Econo Boy, and my brother. So suddenly one "bride's family" photo becomes three -- one for me, one for dad, one for mom. And Econo Boy's extended family is *enormous,* especially on his mom's side, and I suspect it might mean a lot to Econo Boy's mom to get all of those various combination photos of her family (everyone, just the siblings, just the cousins, etc.) with the new bride and groom.

So how do we avoid spending our cocktail hour posing for 4,000 family portraits, while still acknowledging that those photos mean a lot to our families and giving them the chance to get the pictures they want? We're going to do as many as possible before the ceremony, but we're on a somewhat tight schedule due to venue rules and I'm a bit worried that we'll still have a bunch left over to do after the ceremony and we'll miss a chance to hang out with our guests. (And to be honest, I'm also a bit worried that we won't have any corn empanadas with chimichurri sauce left if I'm stuck posing for a zillion post-ceremony photos! You get between me and food at your peril.) Any ideas on how to make this as painless as possible?

The universe does not accept returns on family members

Five years ago this January, my parents decided to divorce. Suffice it to say that the divorce was not amicable (there was Another Woman involved), and although my parents have tried hard to get along better in recent years, there are a lot of residual resentments and hurt feelings hiding just below the surface.

The wedding, as weddings do, has brought those resentments to the forefront. My dad threw a hissy fit over two guests my mom wanted to invite; they used to be his friends too but he feels they “betrayed” him during the divorce. When I saw that our invitations designer had ignored my instructions and put my mother's name on the return address of the envelopes, I was briefly terrified that my father would somehow see that as a slight. My brother is appalled that we’re inviting The Other Woman (whom he hates). My mom is mostly low-key and supportive, but has hinted that she wants to make sure there are posed photos that don’t involve my dad, since she doesn’t want to frame any photos that include him.

I’m a bit jealous of Econo Boy’s family, truth be told – his parents are still happily married and are wonderful together. No demands for separate photos there. But I think I’m finally at peace with the reality of my family situation. When my parental drama pops up, I try not to let myself get upset or obsess about how I think things “should” be in an ideal world. Do I wish that my parents got along well enough to agree on a guest list and pose for photos without arguments and accusations of favoritism? Of course. But that’s not going to happen, unless I drug them up with Valium or trade them in for better parents (which I’m told is not an option). They are the only parents I’ve got, and they’re not perfect but I love them. So my only option is to call them on the bullshit when I can, smile through a slightly longer photo list, accept that there’s going to be some tension, and try not to let it ruin the day.

Another one of my coping strategies has been, strangely enough, the bridal party. In retrospect I’m not that attached to the idea of dressing my pals in identical outfits and I probably could have gone another way. But I want my friends there in the dressing room to hug me if my family stresses me out, and as protective covering – somehow I feel like their presence will help dissuade my parents from throwing their drama on me (in my family, you Do Not Make a Scene In Front of Strangers). They’re sort of like emotional bodyguards, clad in navy and carrying bouquets.

I know for a fact that I’m not the only one with less than perfect parents. So how do you guys cope?

Wine Wednesday: A hit and a miss for BBQ wines

Econo Boy is a champion entertainer, which I absolutely love (especially since I get to plan the fun parts of dinner, namely appetizers, dessert, and the wine!). Last week we had some friends and colleagues over for grilled ginger chicken kabobs, and I don't think I'm bragging too much when I say my man has serious cooking chops.

The evening's first wine selection was a tremendous success: the 2008 Goats do Roam Rosé from South Africa.

Image from sceniccellars.co.nz

I need to drink more rosé, especially with slightly spicy food. This was delightful -- dry, but with lively cherry and watermelon notes that made it a refreshing pairing with the chicken and grilled red peppers.

A longtime favorite, however, proved disappointing: Pacific Rim Dry Riesling.

Image from ultimatewineshop.com

I love dry Rieslings, and I've really enjoyed Pacific Rim in the past, but this time around it didn't do it for me. The wine was flabby, with an unpleasantly acidic finish and a strange hint of metal around the edges -- not the crisp, subtle, elegant dry Riesling I've enjoyed in the past.

This bottle did not specify its vintage, which I think was part of the problem. My guess is that this bottle may have been past its prime. It's a screwtop wine, meant to be drunk young. Generally I think you don't want to drink a screwtop wine that's any older than 2 years, and I suspect that this bottle was from the 2006 vintage. But without a vintage year I had no way to know how old it was. Unless Pacific Rim starts putting vintages on the bottle (and on their website, it looks like they've started doing so with the 2007 vintage), we may have to take this one off our "old standbys" list, which is a shame. Can anyone suggest a solid dry Riesling to replace it?

Wedding dislikes, Part II

In emulation of A., Meg, and many other of the fabulous blogs on my blogroll, I have decided to try and further the noble cause of making it OK to have opinions in the wedding blogging world. Also, like most grad students, I enjoy complaining. So here are 5 more wedding things I just don't get:

5. Caterers who think "extra side dishes" is a legitimate vegetarian option
I may be a carnivore, but even I know that a large helping of mashed potatoes and 3 extra green beans does not a vegetarian meal make. I've been to one wedding where the poor vegetarians at our table were starving after their "meal" and ended up sneaking all of the leftover bread from nearby tables! Note to caterers: if your "vegetarian option" is just the beef entree with the beef removed, you need to try harder.

As an addendum: fellow carnivores, if you attend an all-vegetarian reception, please don't embarrass the rest of us by throwing a fit or pouting that there's "no real food." Not having a meat option is not the same as not having a vegetarian option, because a meat-eater can still eat the food available. So grab a stuffed mushroom and an artichoke mini-pizza and chow down. One evening of veggies won't kill you.

4. "Daddy's Little Girl"
Really, sappy songs in general just aren't my thing. (This has been a problem as we select our first dance song; Econo Boy loves sentimental ballads.) But I find this one particularly icky -- it lays on the mush with a trowel, and that boring melody isn't helping. And while I was definitely a "daddy's girl" as a kid, nowadays it rubs my feminism the wrong way to be called "Daddy's little girl" in public. I'm 27, and on my better days I like to think I'm an adult!

3. Calla lilies
My favorite flowers have lots of texture, and look like you could bury your face in them and be rewarded with a marvelous scent. Think lilacs or roses (yes, roses, I don't care if you think they're boring, I love their smell!). Calla lilies, while lovely, don't really have that going for them -- they're very structured, almost architectural, and somewhat stiff-looking in my eyes. I think I may have also suffered a bit of calla lily overload -- when I first started looking for flower ideas, I was amazed at the number of online bouquet photos that involved nothing but calla lilies! Whatever the reason, the only coherent instruction I gave my poor florist at our meeting was "I like everything. Oh, except calla lilies."

Image from TheKnot.com

2. Jordan Almonds
Now, I love most candies, just not these ones. They taste like chalk, and they're impossible to chew. Yes, they're traditional, yes, they're "wedding-y," yes, they're a bit more "formal looking" than M&Ms in your wedding colors. I don't care. I think they taste gross. M&Ms are delicious, and I believe delicious should always win out over pretty.

Image from FavorStudio.com

1. In fact, the whole school of thought that says it's more important for food to look good than taste good. Also, fake food.
Wedding cakes with neon blue fondant, I'm looking at you. Fake wedding cakes, especially at weddings where no cake will be served?* I'm also looking at you. Seriously, is it really so important to have a pretty "wedding cake" for the guests to look at that you'll put out a chunk of decorated styrofoam? I don't get it, I really don't. Cake is for eating, end of story.

* People do this, I swear. It wasn't just a hallucination I had after eating too many lemon bars.

So have at me, people. Does anything on my list reveal me as a ridiculous human being with no taste or style? Am I heartless for hating on "Daddy's Little Girl"? Or do styrofoam cakes also make you secretly want to weep?